Dear self-help gurus, stop selling balance!

I’ll stay imbalanced, thank you.

I’ve been on a quest for self-improvement for, well, my entire life. I was one of those kids who always asked questions so I could find solutions to my woes (yes, I had woes). I disliked the hand I was given and I knew that the only way I could change my circumstances was through education.

Thus, I’ve spent a couple of decades absorbing the advice of self-help authors, spiritual leaders, and entrepreneurs. Usually, the wisdom they impart is highly beneficial, but the typical problem with most approaches is that they are not speaking from the same reality that you or I live in. They have achieved success, they have the capacity to develop a lifestyle that they desire due to their socio-economic and public status. Unfortunately, the anecdotal advice of Jeff Besos will not work for the unemployed woman with a lack of financial or social support.

Now, there are some that do have a similar philosophy to the one I am about to share. So far, I’ve found them to exist in four-burner theory and a book called The One Thing (by the way, this is not an Amazon affiliate link). I am critiquing an unattainable goal by the way — not an individual leader. The goal of balance.

If I am to achieve balance I am meant to maintain a harmonious relationship to the obligations I must follow every day, week, and month. A few of them are as follows:

1. Wake up at 5:00 am.
2. Meditate at least an hour a day.
3. Practice 120 minutes of yoga.
4. No processed foods, no caffeine, no sugar.
5. Sobriety at all costs.
6. Look slim, but not too slim.
7. 60 minutes of cardio three times a day.
8. 30 minutes of weightlifting three times a day.
9. Read a new book every week.
10. Write a blog.
11. Create a YouTube Channel.
12. Market yourself on Social Media.
13. Network in different groups.
14. Go to sleep early.
15. Don’t forget the supplements.
16. Did you drink enough water?
17. NO TV.
18. Remember to be grateful.
19. Be involved in activism.
20. Make time for social activities.
21. Talk to family.
22. Be present.
23. Hygiene.
24. Make the bed.
25. Listen to podcasts.
26. Journal.
27. Make a vision board.
28. See a therapist.
29. Work on your love life.
30. Learn a new language.
31. Produce art.

Holy shit. I’m exhausted. How in the hell am I supposed to accomplish all of this daily, weekly, and monthly while maintaining a life? I’m not. Most well-meaning “self-help gurus” paint a picture of a perfectly attainable balance life for two reasons. One is that they are out of touch with reality and the other is that they are…lying.

In truth, I’ve found that my embrace of imbalance has been the key to designing the kind of day-to-day existence I lead. If I am to focus most of my energy on, say, education, then it will seep into my reserves of energy for other projects of life areas and that is great because it allows me to determine where I truly want to spend my time.

The expectation of excellence in all areas of life is simply unattainable. I would much rather lead a life of enjoyment and imbalance than one where I ride my own ass to strive for a goal that is bought and sold by the highly capitalistic market of self-help.